Wednesday, January 31, 2007

"Listen to my prayer, O God.
Do not ignore my cry for help!
Please listen and answer me,
My enemies shout at me,
making loud and wicked threats.
They bring trouble on me,
hunting me down in their anger.

My heart is in anguish.
The terror of death overpowers me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me.
I can't stop shaking.
Oh how I wish I had wings like a dove;
then I would fly away and rest!
I would fly far away to the quite of the wilderness.
How quickly I would escape -
Far away from this wild storm of hatred.

Destroy them, Lord, and confuse their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city.
It's walls are patrolled day and night against invaders,
but the real danger is wickedness within the city.
Murder and robbery are everywhere there;
threats and cheating are rampant in the streets.

It's not an enemy who taunts me -
I could bear that.
It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me -
I could have hidden from them.
Instead, it is you - my equal,
my companion and close friend.
What good fellowship we enjoyed
as we walked together to the house of God.

Let death sieze my enemies by surprise;
let the grave swallow them alive,
for evil makes it's home within them.

But I will call on God,
and the Lord will rescue me.
Morning , noon, and night.
I plead aloud in my distress,
and the Lord hears my voice.
He rescues me and keeps me safe
from the battle waged against me,
even though many still oppose me.
God who is king forever will hear me and will humble them.

For my enemies refuse to change their ways;
they do not fear God.

As for this friend of mine, he betrayed me;
he broke his promises.
His words are as smooth as cream,
but in his heart is war.
His words are as soothing as lotion,
but underneath are daggers!

Give your burdens to the Lord'
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

But you, O God, will send the wicked
down to the pit of destruction.
Murderers and liars will die young,
but I am trusting you to save me."


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Mm, so it's been a while since I posted. I've recovered only to see two more kids go through it and to see Derek through a gastro-intestinal crisis. We all missed church today... a first EVER. Derek and I spent the day in the word... read and discussed the book of Jeremiah. Yeah... the whole book. (It gets really good at the end!)

Derek and I frequently find ourselves in doubt. Doubt. About where we are supposed to go, what we are supposed to do. But lately, I wonder if the doubt is really resistance. God shows us, and when we respond, we go. But, when we resist, we call it doubt. Might be something to that.

Today I read this: Security is not the absence of danger, but the presence of Jesus.

We aren't afraid of what the church's review of Derek's job will be. We aren't even afraid that they'll look at their budget and find no room for us. Really, what has been consuming us is finding out what God's will is. And, we know that in his time he will reveal it to us. For the first time in my life, my own security isn't my primary concern. Very strange for a creature like me.

I told Derek today that I was ready to go anywhere. I'd sell it all and go in a heart beat. Even Texas. (I admitted a little reservation about Texas, and immediately repented.) I imagined out loud having an in-house yard sale and hitting the road to wherever God had in mind we should go next. OR... staying put, and truly being okay with that too. God has a plan. He fashioned me to be a tool, a vessel. And, I will not argue with the potter.

So, the review is next week and January 30th is quickly approaching...

Will keep you posted.


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Well it's the crack of noon and I'm just getting up.
But I'm up. And, I can swallow my spit. It's a good day.
I've had strep throat for the last few days. Decided it's the nastiest of diseases I've ever had. (You can leave your gastro-intestinal diseases in the bathroom, light a candle, turn on the fan and close the door - strep throat stays with you... ya know?!)
It starts out with "Darn, I think I have a sore throat." But in the back of your mind you're thinking "Shoot, what's a sore throat for everyone else is strep throat for me! Remember days of laying on the bottom bunk on the far end of the house... hallucinating with fever and spitting into a tupperware cup?"
Chante' had sore throat first. She was feeling a little low at the video scavenger hunt. But, she's so hard to read, I wasn't sure HOW sick she was. I checked her throat, which was red to be sure. And, assigned her to only cold drinks and cuddling for the night. (I figured the chili and cornchips would be torture.)
Later that night, Zion cuddled with me in church and asked me if he could wear my leather coat. I took it off and covered him with it. Shortly thereafter, he was slumped and his hot head rested on my shoulder. He had a fever. (Chante' was feeling better by now. Coulda been her friends at church was all the pick me up she needed.)
I tried to hurry my one-car ministry family out of the building, but it always takes an hour from the word "let's go". I just pray we didn't infect all the little old ladies with it in the meantime. But, while waiting, I found myself exhausted and instead of making my usual "How you doin'?"-preacher's wife rounds, I sat in the foyer. And, they came to me. (Now why didn't I think of that sooner?!) I didn't think I was sick. I thought that I was just exhausted from a 5 hour game of video scavenger hunt in high-heels.
We all hit Wal-Mart on the way home and picked up some sicky medicines. The kids all took their showers and doses and had their hugs and kisses and trotted off to bed.
I played Mortal Kombat with my hubby until 9:30 and then I had to hit the sack. (This should have been my second clue - I'm a night owl, and killing my husband in combat video games is what I love to do!)
I woke up the next morning feeling "ew". Creepy, crawly... I asked Derek to find the thermometer... and I had a fever of 101.4. Not a high fever... but the stoopid thing never beeped, so I wasn't sure it was done, but I knew I was done having it jab the underside of my tongue.
He went off to run a few errands, and get some work done, and Chante' threw a blanket in the dryer for me (tell you what, this kid knows me!) and covered me with it. I doubt it's good for the fever, but it did wonders for the mommy.
By the time Derek got home my thermometer read 103.5. It still didn't beep, and I still didn't care. I knew I was sick.
My sore throat had taken a back burner to the fever, but it would soon get my undivided attention.
Over the next two days I learned a few things:
You won't eat. You won't want to. You won't even be hungry. You can look a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie in the eye and not even care to take a whiff.
You'll drink only because you know you'll be really sick if you don't.
Gatoraide is yummy, but it leaves a film on the back of your throat. DOH!
With strep throat, you can develop epiglotitis, which can cause excessive drooling... which is fun when you CAN'T SWALLOW!
Since you'll probably drown in your sleep, a visit to in the middle of the night helps you feel more informed, but not necessarily better.
Your brother-in-law's trips to Mexico last year paid off for you in the form of Amoxycillin! Yay brother-in-law! (Of course, the only way the rancher-turned preacher could relate the medical information to you was to tell of cows and milk-fever. Fascinating, to be sure...)
After the first dose of medicine, you hope you'll start feeling better. But, you won't. You may feel worse. Have a bucket handy for the nausea.
After two days of sitting up, laying down and spitting, you may finally gave in to one night of fever-breaking. Three soaked night shirts and three soaked pillow-cases later, the fever will be done. Mostly.
Your kids are sweeter than you ever knew... they'll wake up and come to you and ask you how you're feeling... and when they hear your response, they'll be relieved and tell you they prayed for you in bed last night. (Then one will fart and the other will yell "doorknob" and the stinky chase begins. But you're too sore to tell them you don't like that game... you're still smiling knowing they were praying for you.)
And, you find out just at the worst of it, when you think you can't handle anymore discomfort or pain just how good your husband's hand feels when it's rested on your head.
You'll learn your a trooper. The family needs you to be healthy and up and and at it soon. You'll drink and drink and take your medicines on the hour and get better as soon as you can... cuz Ramen Noodles is better than nothing, and Taco Bueno is better than Ramen Noodles, but nothing is better than mom's pot roast with fresh baked biscuits.
I'm so ready to be back in the game...
Have a bit of a sore throat today, but the fever's gone. Lost five pounds on this, the worst diet ever.
Gotta go, I think I'm hungry...
Is that Frosted Flakes? Do I dare?

Thursday, January 04, 2007

You know how it is... after a great party. You take a hot shower, and while still wrapped in a steaming towel, you fall back first onto a clean, fluffy bed... exhausted.

Ahhhh... Christmas is over.

And... I did fall, back first into bed. But, not in a hot steamy towel... instead I was clutching Zicam in one hand and a fistful of kleenexes in the other. Christmas day, I kept finding quiet places in my sister's house to lay down. I didn't know it then, but my "chills" and "creepy, crawlies" were actually a low-grade fever that would move in for a few days. Sigh.

But, put your violin away... pity party is over...

Christmas was delightful! I did make all the cookies and handmade, sentimental gifts for everyone that I had planned to make. And, I think most folks liked them... a lot. (Made my mom cry... sorry mom!)

And, the kids opened their gifts with their cousins. The gifts were all colour co-ordinated (soooo Jennifer), and wrapped in retro paper. Sooo kewl. Derek wrapped the best gifts in the gold paper and the kids opened them last. The kids got the Game Cube they were sooo hoping for! And, six of their favourite games. Aw, you shoulda seen it! The disbelief, the screaming, and even a few tears shed by the little one. He was simply amazed. It was a great feeling to give the kids something really special this year. My heart nearly burst!

I was so ill for the two days after Christmas that my Christmas tree and decorations stayed up. And, come Thursday, we were off on a youth adventure... a missions training retreat for our youth.

I've been home since Monday, and still the Christmas decorations are up. Ah, work and church and homeschool and simple tiredness of the Christmas and the flu and the weekend... simply won't let me at 'em. I'd rather sit BESIDE my tree and wish it would put itself away... or blog. Hehe.

Gotta hit the sack.