Wednesday, December 06, 2006

You know, when you're 12 you think you're going to be like this forever. Just as you are. Your body will never wear out. You already know everything there is to know. All that's left to look forward to is marriage and babies.
Then you finish middle school and Jr. High, and move on to highschool. And, it's there that you just know you will never change. You know so much more than you did when you were 12, and now, you've got the marraige thing pretty much lined up with the boy-of-the-month.
Then you graduate. And, you're in limbo-land. Too old to be hanging out with highschoolers, and too young to be hanging out with the young adults. Most of which have started their degrees and talk in code: "I got my AA, only to switch majors and go for a BS. I'll start taking 300 classes early, but only if I can change my GPA..."
So, you jump into the college thing. And, that's when you KNOW that you will never change. You're living in a dorm, 3 meals a day, and you take the classes you want to take. At least, you HOPE you never change. The guys are hot here.
Then your college money runs out, and you're living in town, hoping to get back into college again.
So, you get your own place. You fanaggle over the rent with the landlord, and begin to decorate with other people's leftovers. And, though it's kinda weird, you never really thought much of working a full-time job and holding down your own fort. Paying rent and utilities is the most grown up thing you do all month. Every month. But, you still hit the movies and hang out at Subway with your boyfriend... and life is pretty much perfect. No plans to move forward, but wouldn't go back to highschool for nothin'!
Then you start talking marriage. A breeze, right? It'll be the same as now, except one of us will move in with the other... You'll never change. You'll have the endless energy you have now, only a few more responsibilities when the baby comes.... I mean, who doesn't love babies, right? You've been looking forward to this day since you were 12. You've had it planned out for nearly a decade!
Then the baby comes. No one told you they have a different clock than you. (Funny how I didn't mind being up at 3am with my fiancee, but it's different with an infant!) Suddenly, you realize everything has changed. YOU are no longer the center of the universe. And, you slowly realize... even at 3am... you're okay with that. You'd do anything to provide and protect this little crying creature. And, motherhood isn't anything like you had imagined when you were 12. It's so much harder and so much better!
Then you're infant turns 1 and is into everything. Turns 2 and says "no!", and gets it's first paddling. She's 3 and asks "whyyyy?". She's four and gets bossy. She's 6 and toothless. She's eight and has drama with her little friends. She's 10 and wants her ears peirced. She's 12 and she has it all figured out. She'll never change.
So, you try to tell her that she will... and she looks at you blankly and asks if she can start wearing make-up.
My daughter turns 12 next year... and she's got it all figured out.

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