Sunday, March 11, 2007

So, I'm sipping on my overpriced Caramel Frappaccino... getting to the good part - the whipped cream with caramel. Though usually it's here that my kids swarm in and try to finish it off for me. They're not allowed to have coffee, but whipped cream isn't off limits. Maybe if I keep the straw slurping quiet they won't hear me trying to finish of my drink for the first time in forever.

I've procrastinated writing in my blog. Even now, I start with my drink and wonder as I write if I'll ever get to the point.

In these last weeks we have had some major life difficulties and potential changes. Career and schooling choices (for Derek and me), homeschool testing (for the kids... but for some reason, I think I'll be the one getting the grade)... and extended family trouble (my little sister).

My sister came out of the closet a few weeks ago. And, it seems as though the only thing I've been working on since the beginning of February is nudging her to restoration with God. But, now... it's over... I'm exhausted, and she's living with her lover and her lover's daughter. My heart is broken and weary - but when I'm not weary... I'm angry. I suppose it will be another grieving process for me - and all those who love her. I've lost two sisters to death... and now I've lost one by choice. Her choice.

There aren't a lot of personal issues I can discuss publicly. Being a preacher's wife... there is some good sense I must exercise. Some of it is probably fine to talk about, but I would rather err on the side of caution.

However... it brings me to say this: if you have a "pastor", a "preacher" an "evangelist", or a missionary or church worker as a friend... take them out for coffee. Take time to listen with out trying to figure out which side of the political issue you will be on. Listen to the humanity spoken in their words... Yes... they are workers in the kingdom... yes... they walk by faith - but they are not superhuman - not without the need for good counsel themselves. They need friends who don't gossip, friends who will bring good advice after bringing a listening ear and an attentive spirit. Friends who will be forgiving when their faith fall short. Friends who will pray in the quietness of the morning or late night for them, for their families, for their ministry. Do you ever wonder who ministers to the ministers? Maybe it's you...

So... my frappaccino is done. Nothing left at the bottom but chunks of ice that were too big for the straw.

I'll get up from the computer and wander back into my life... tending to the kitchen, preparing for the week. And, when you get up from your computer, I hope you'll remember your minister... and ask him if he ever needed ministering to. And, listen as things get quiet.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hi jen
i am sorry to hear of your struggles. it is nice to know you still rely on God to get you through. it is sad about your sister. i think it would be hard to understand why. as for the carmel. i hear ya i could drink one everyday extra carmel!