Wednesday, January 04, 2006

It's madness! It's been less than 12 hours and I'm blogging again!

My husband and I shared some thoughts with eachother this morning over french toast and bacon. We discussed our "respons-ability" to change. We talked resolutions. He said that the reason many people fail at keeping resolutions is that they don't know who they are. We sometimes wrongly assume that we are a compilation of our habits... good or bad. But, we are not.
I feel like a thin, vibrant, lively person in a fat body. "It's not really me that I see in the mirror", I think regularly. But, who would know that but me?
I am organized.. really organized deep down inside. I love order and predictablity. But, most folks see me flying by the seat of my pants, winging it as I go.
I am an excellent teacher - not bragging - but I sometimes appear as though I am unprepared. Perhaps that speaks more to my procrastination habit.
So... keeping commitments to self - no matter how small - is the beginning of integrity. After we become accustomed to keeping personal commitments (ie: mind over mattress at 6:00am, having the guts to say no to fudge, hitting the sack before the lateshow, quieting critical voices inside my head, etc) then we can begin truly keeping commitments to those we are responsible for. And, from there... our character begins to develop. And the circle of influence gets just a big wider - as do our "respons-abilities".
There is so much more on this topic, but it was quite a revelation to me this morning that I am not the sum of my bad habits. Habits change. But, just as a rocket needs a tremendous amount of fuel to push itsself through the force of earth's gravity - we require accountability and encouragement to change our habits... thus changing our "respons-ability".
I have started a wellness program with a few neighbors. We'll call ourselves "The Sisterhood of Shrinking Pants"... We meet on Monday afternoons and workout together on Thursday nights.
I really need to get to doing what I am supposed to be doing. So I gotta run.
Talk atcha lata!

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